Lean not on your own understanding

This is a picture of my Half Marathon training schedule. Back in August of 2010, I was at Marie's baby shower when some of my friends, 2 of whom are runners, started talking about the Half Marathon in Seaside in March of 2011 and how fun it would be if we could get a big group of girls to go. I laughed at this idea and repeatedly told my friend Amy, with her positive peer pressure, that I do not run! I am not a runner, don't enjoy it, won't and can't do it! Somehow on my long walks with Daniel in a jogger stroller and Campbell on a leash, I started doing walkjogs, I would walk a little, then run a little, and so on. My friends were serious about signing up for the race and the night of the baby shower there was a lot of enthusiasm which turned into reality. They even made a yahoo group to send out emails about running together. So one day, back in September, I asked if I could join them at 6:00 am! We all have small children and had to be home so our husbands could go to work. To my surprise, I was able to keep up with them, for the most part, on a 3 mile run. I had to walk some, but never let them get out of my sight, and then would run to catch up with them. So I started meeting with them regularly twice a week at 6am. They kept asking me if I was going to do the race and I half heartedly would say yes, but never registered. One morning on a run, I learned that the race was full and I was so bummed because I knew that registering for that race (and forking over $120)would be the thing that kept me accountable to running! I decided I would still keep running with them in the mornings because my sister's wedding is coming up in May and so that would be my new motivation. On January 18th, 120 more slots opened up for the race, so after Bible study, I went home and signed up! I was nervous and excited! My sister, Ashley, also got in that day too. So from then on, it was serious, I was commited and accountable. Having my running partners, L.A., Caroline, Alicia, and Danielle has been such an encouragement to me! It's like a social hour to start the day, we can talk (in between huffing and puffing) without being distracted by our children. Plans started taking shape to stay at L.A.'s aunt & uncle's beach house close to the race, and make it a girls weekend. FUN FUN!! At one point there were 17 of us going, 9 runners and 8 cheerleaders. I really have enjoyed, MUCH TO MY SURPRISE, the training. The results of the hard work are wonderful! Caroline and I were saying this past Saturday that we are talking crazy talk! To hear ourselves say, "We just ran 10 miles" is crazy! I couldn't even run 1 mile without stopping this past August! It's been challenging too, running in 30 degree weather, running with a cough that's lasted 8 weeks, running gimpishly with my bum knee (that happened after 8 miles). But my attitude changed from I can't and I won't to I can and I'm excited to run this half marathon on Sunday, March 6th!! But God has other plans for me...like I said, I ran 10 miles this past Saturday and felt wonderful Saturday and Sunday, my knee was ok, and I was feeling confidant that I could do the 13.1 without a doubt! But Monday I woke up with my back hurting. I have had back problems off and on since my teens so this is nothing really new for me. I took Ibuprofen around the clock on Monday, ran a bunch of errands, got new running shorts for the race and some enegry goos, but the pain just got progressively worse throughout the day. I laid my running clothes out Monday night for my run on Tuesday morning, but when my alarm went off I could hardly get out of bed and then I couldn't stand up straight or walk, it was excruciating! I laid awake for awhile just waiting until 8:00 when I could call the Doctor. Thank goodness Mike stayed home to take care of me and Daniel, he did everything- dressed me and Daniel, took care of the dog, meals, driving us, everything! After seeing the doctor and the physical therapist on Tuesday, I was advised repeatedly not to run the race this Sunday. And not just not to do it, but that I wouldn't physically be able to do it. I was DEVESTATED!! I cried all day long, everytime someone would text or call me to say how sorry they were or to check on me, I would start crying all over again. Daniel said to me at one point, "It's ok mommy". He was so sweet as I was laying on the floor, he brought me some toys to play with and hold, he helped me drink my coffee from my turvis tumbler with a straw, and gave me lots of hugs and kisses. I don't know why this had to happen the week before the race, but the verses I've been thinking about alot since Tuesday are Proverbs 3:5-6 "Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge him, an he will make your paths straight." So Wednesday I decided that I was going to have a positive attitude and no more pity parties for myself. My goal was to get feeling good enough to still go on the girls weekend and I will cheer on my sister and my friends with gusto! My friends and my husband have been AWESOME helping me with Daniel, picking up prescriptions, tidying up my house, offering to do anything I need, sacrificing their time, they are AMAZING!! Thank you all for your support, encouragement and your prayers! God is answering our prayers, because I do feel much better than Tuesday for sure! There are so many much worse things than not getting to run a race. There will be more races in the future, and I have surprised myself with what I have accomplished, by God's grace!

Joy to the World

I haven't been able to keep up with my blog for many reasons, but I felt compelled to write this post. Below are several of my favorite pictures from this Christmas. I felt so blessed to be surrounded by my parents, in-laws, sisters, & sister's fiance (Shannon), this Christmas. One of my favorite memories about this Christmas was singing Silent Night by candlelight at our church's, Christmas Eve service, with our whole immediate family standing with us.



Mike got stone crab claws for our appetizer for our special Christmas Eve meal.



Chef, Jean Michel (said with a French accent, AKA, my very talented, aspiring chef husband), made AH-MAZING Carolina crab cakes with tomato gravy, roasted garlic smashed red potatoes, and sauteed asparagus for our special dinner. DELISH!!!




My sister, Laura's (and Mike's sister Carol - although she couldn't be with us this year)birthday is on Christmas day, so we had a cake (my prize winning chocolate cake with peanut butter frosting and peanut butter and chocolate glaze)for her. We sang Happy Birthday to Jesus, and then to Laura. This is the first time we have sung Happy Birthday to Jesus, but I wanted to do it because Daniel totally understands birthdays, and we have been talking about Christmas day being Jesus' birthday.




My sister's Ashley, and Laura, being silly on Christmas Eve. Ashley gave Laura and me matching pajama pants! Love having my sister's here!! They are so much fun to be around! And they are hilarious!!



Here is Daniel trying out his new scooter from Mimi and Papa.



This year, more than any other year before, I think I grasped a little of the true meaning of Christmas. 2010 has been hard in many ways, emotionally draining, faith stretching and building, and good all at the same time. I will try to give a highlight of some of the good and the hard things I've experienced this past year, probably unintentionally leaving some things out:

Good
Multiple friends had healthy babies
A husband who loves his job
Being able to stay home most of the time with Daniel, working less at the hospital
Celebrating Grandmother's 90th birthday (mom's mom)
Celebrating Grandfather's 80th birthday (dad's dad)
Making new friends
Sister's engagement
Serving at church this Christmas season
Watching our small group generously love a financially hurting family
Baby Jacob coming home from the hospital to spend Christmas at home with his family!

Hard
Friend's baby died, 1st Christmas without him
Friend's divorce
Multiple friends going through financially difficult times
Friend's MIL sudden death from stroke, then FIL hit by a car, remains in critical condition out of town
Watched in-laws close friend's lose their spouses
Our unsuccessful attempt at IVF
(I was going to add that one of our best friend's sister's unborn baby is suspected to have a probable genetic abnormality, possibly incompatible with life, but just received and email right before Christmas, that prenatal labwork and genetic studies point to hopefully good news,either cysts that will resolve on their own, or a rare genetic disorder).

This year I have seen people I love go through incredibly painful circumstances, and I have also gone through a more emotionally draining and disappointing circumstance myself. How can people who have so much hurt have joy at Christmas? It's a celebratory holiday, yet SO many people have SO much pain and hurt in their lives. (I am realizing this more and more the older I get and the more I allow myself to love others).

Our pastor preached a sermon on December 19th that was eye opening to me from Luke 1: 26-33. I will try my best to tell you what I got out of it.

The angel said to Mary, "do not be afraid, there is plenty of joy."
Your life may have much fear and little joy,
the angel brought a "good message"
The angel told Mary her son would be great- greatness is produced by humility, dependence, and service. Phil. 2, He made himself nothing, the road to glory came from laying down his rights.
Out of a place of deep sacrificial love, he poured himself into others, through denial, humility, and sacrifice for others (Phil. 2:5-9, Mark 10:45)
The angel proclaimed: we are hopelessly unable to save ourselves
He instructed Mary to call her baby Jesus...why?
His name signifies his work, He will make a complete purchase of your life, you can't reconcile yourself, he will save his people from their sins. (salvation is not based on good works or merit, it is by Grace)
Much of our anxiety and sadness is because we fail to understand how totally loved and accepted we are by Jesus.
Our pain is proof that we still live in a broken world, not that God has turned his back on me, this is not our eternal home. The world I want is still coming.
His blessing is going to be as extensive as far as the curse is found. (Joy to the world, He comes to make his blessings known as far as the curse if found!).


So even though we celebrate Christmas, Christmas is the sufferers holiday. Christmas guarantees that God has, does, and will continue to address what I'm going through (and everyone who has pain and suffering and hard stuff happen to them). He came to end death. And even though happiness feels good, it is fleeting, but joy can last forever.

All that being said, to be completely honest, I still don't understand/am confused at why hard, terrible, painful stuff happens to people I love, and even to wonderful people I don't even know. I mean I know we live in a broken world, and these things should make me long for my eternal home, but they are still hard, and I think that Jesus understands why I am sad about these things.

So to all of us who are hurting, "May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace as you trust in him, so that you may overflow with hope by the power of the Holy Spirit." Romans 15:13 (This is one of my life verses!)

We have had a wonderful, exhausting Christmas with lots of family and traveling, tons of good food and thoughtful gifts, but I can truly say, I am most thankful for the gift of my salvation, that came from Jesus' life, his death on the cross to pay for my sins, and his Resurrection.

Please pray

Hi anyone who reads. I am writing tonight to ask you all to pray for our friend, Amy and her unborn baby, Jacob. Amy went to school with Mike, kindergarten through 12th grade. I met Amy and her husband Tyson at their 10 year highschool reunion. Our family actually stayed with them on our vacation last summer and they were extremely hospitable to us and showed us all around their city. Amy is 24 weeks + 5 days pregnant with their 3rd child and has been bleeding off and on since she was 11 weeks. She was diagnosed with a marginal placental abruption and placed on bedrest at 18 weeks. She checked herself into the hospital at 24 weeks (the point of viability) to hopefully give her baby the best chance of survival when something happenens. She has started a blog and really tries to have a positive/cheerful attitude. Today she shared that the placenta is in bad shape and not only tearing away from the bottom but now also the top, and that the doctors are talking about delivery in days, not weeks or months, like she originally thought. She has received steriod injections to help speed Jacob's lung developement along. Please pray for Amy and baby Jacob. You can read Amy's story here.

A Wonderful Mother's Day

I had a wonderful Mother's Day this year! I got to spend it with my two favorite people!! (Last year I worked on my first mother's day.) Mike made me waffles for breakfast, before we headed to church. I can remember not too many years ago that going to church on Mother's Day and Father's Day was very painful for both me and Mike because we so longed to be parents. It was nearly impossible to get through the services without crying. I choke back happy tears now, that God so faithfully answered our prayers! After church we had a picnic lunch at a local garden overlooking a beautiful lake. The weather was perfect and I couldn't have been happier!


To GOD be the glory for this little man who calls me mommy!


This picture totally cracks me up because it is SO Daniel! He's got a stick and he must have thought it would be funny to mess up my hair with it! Haha!! Love that boy! You can almost hear him saying, "aaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhh"



So typical of this little dude to play with his stick in the "wa", as he calls it.



I love you buddy!




Playing on the playground after our picnic.



Daniel was being so sweet to Mike, he started kissing him on the lips many times.




Thank you God for this man and this young man whom I love SO much!!!





We missed being with our own mothers on this special day. I love you mom and am so thankful that God gave me to you to be my mom, you set such a wonderful, godly example of what being a mother is all about. I'm also thankful for my mother-in-law who raised an amazing son and who loves me like I'm her own daughter. All my aunts, grandmothers, sister's-in-laws, and friends are also such wonderful mothers and each one has taught me more about this incredible role I am now honored to have. And to any of you who read who desire to be mothers, I pray for God's peace and comfort during your trial, that you would trust our heavenly Father and place your hope in Him! And I pray that God would answer your prayers and give you the desire of your heart.

After Daniel was born, these verses meant a lot to me and I have them written and posted inside my medicine cabinet in my bathroom:

"Great is our Lord and mighty in power; His understanding is infinite. The Lord is good to all, and His tender mercies are over all His works. Let them praise the name of the Lord, for He commanded and they were created." Ps 147:5; 145:9; 148:5

"He gives children to the childless wife, so that she becomes a happy mother! Hallelujah!"
Ps. 113:9

Home with Jesus

A while back, you may remember that I asked you to pray for healing for Parker LaMendola, a little boy Daniel's age, who had a rare form of brain cancer. So rare, there wasn't even a name for it. God answered those prayers, just not in the way that I wanted. Parker went home to be with Jesus yesterday morning. He is resting in the strong arms of Jesus, with no more pain and no more tears. My heart is so heavy with sadness for this family I don't even know, but have been praying for for the past 6 months. Please lift Laurel Beth, Greg, and Parker's twin brother, Drew up in prayer. You can read more about Parker at caringbridge.org
Password is parkerlamendola

To view some precious pictures of Parker and his family go here.

I have been forced to face some of my own fears about death because of having the priveledge of praying for the LaMendolas and witnessing some close friends of the family walk through this trial with them. As one of the ladies in my Bible study said this morning, as she was talking about death and heaven with her children, "Heaven is our forever home, earth is just where we live while we wait our turn to go to heaven." Last night I just stood over Daniel's crib and wept as I watched my precious baby boy sleeping. I get emotional thinking about LB's arms aching to hold her little boy again. I also wonder, why am I SO blessed with a healthy, happy child, a wonderful husband, a supportive and loving extended family, a beautiful house, a great church, I could go on and on. I must choose to believe that even during trials, God is good, and he loves his children. The Bible is the only truth, not my feelings or emotions. Thank you God for your bountiful blessings in my life. Thank you for shaping me even through the hard stuff into more of what you desire me to be.

II Cor. 12:9 ..."My Grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness."...